- going to school. Cue crocodile tears on the first day of kindergarten. And first grade. And second.
- going anywhere alone
- talking to people
- the swing set tipping over from swinging too high
- healthy food…mainly anything that wasn't cereal
- doctors and dentists
- my dad's beard
- anything new
And that's just a little piece of it. As I grew up I became more outgoing, which is something that helped mask the fear. It gave off the appearance that I wasn't afraid but believe me, I was still scared. Of everything. I was scared of raising my hand at school in case I said the wrong answer. I was afraid to try new steps at dance in case someone was watching and I looked stupid. When I went to college I was afraid of my environment and afraid of having to do things on my own. When I moved to Utah I was afraid of my roommates murdering me in my sleep. Just kidding! Kind of.
But eventually I got used to it. I grew into myself a little bit and I did things for myself. I've tried enough new things that new things don't threaten me much anymore. I decided I wanted to be an elementary school teacher and I ran with it. Took off, in fact. It may have taken me longer than others, but I did it. I was so excited about it that I didn't take the time to notice that it's actually really scary. That's probably a good thing, otherwise I would have backed out. But I'm into week four of this school year and I'm soaking up every minute. Of course it's a ton of work, and of course there are certain days that I wouldn't want to relive, but I'm here and it's amazing. Teaching is hard, amazing, rewarding, exhausting, exhilarating work. And it's scary sometimes, when you look at the big picture and realize that these kids are forever going to say that you were their teacher and when you realize that you are responsible for their education. But I love it. I WANT it. And I want it way way more than I could ever be afraid of it.
